FELINE FELONS: Criminal Cat Crimes #1

Are cats bad? And if so, how bad are cats? Let's look at the evidence, gathered from actual police crime blotters.

BANDIT
Senior Antonio "The Lardbutt" Bandito
Il Cato Di Tutti Cati
"Most Alpha of Alpha Cats"

Bandit on top of the front door

• Unauthorized mountaineering of a door
• Wrongful possession of a communal means of egress and exit
• Interference in private real property
• Notorious and egregious appropriation of reserved real estate
• Nonpermissive establishment of false title
• Unlawful lien with adverse consequences
• Fictitious usucapion in res mancipi
• Violation of public order
• Disobeying cease-and-desist order
• Terroristic seizure of common easement
• Aerospace trespass [Quicquid plantatur solo, solo cedit] in areas not covered by United States v. Causby et ux
• Criminal ogling of passersby

CRIMESTOPPERS #1: STAY AWAY FROM CATS