And the Winner for Most Obnoxious Is...

No one will get to your secret notebook. Especially not you.

The Dipster is rapidly becoming the most irritating cat of all. She follows me around like she's glued to me, sits on everything I am about to pick up, stretches up and claws me in hopes of getting picked up, sticks her face into mine at 2 a.m., and when this photo was taken was sitting on my "cat blog" notebook, used for coming up with ideas for this stupid cat blog. She has also graduated from eating napkins to eating medical bills. She left tiny scraps of paper all over the bedroom recently that, when I pieced them together, formed a note I had written to myself about something, but not even the FBI could piece that note together to tell me what was on it. My wife Scruffles thinks Dip might have teething problems or jaw rot or a vitamin deficiency, or maybe all three. The truth is that Dip is a rotten little bitch and loves it.

I hate her. She loves that, too.