Why Cats Are Like Vultures (Part 1)

Cats are like vultures in that they like to perch on high things and look for prey, particularly unsuspecting prey like couch potatoes which appear dead but are probably not. Cats smaller than Great Danes (the so-called "domestic" cats) are not usually motivated to leap upon their prey and create messy spaghetti sauce. Instead, they look down and imagine leaping on their prey, which is just as bad.

Starting a short series of posts on this topic, here we have Sophie perched atop her favorite perch, a scratching post just short of three feet high. Sophie has climbed higher than that to perfect her faux-carnivorous persona. I say "faux" because she and the other cats here eat only little brown pellets that look exactly like the pellets that come out of hamster butts. That's why they (cats) don't leap on coach potatoes. They wouldn't know what to do after the leap except claw up the coach potato while trying to escape. I've had that happen, and the physical and psychological scars are still with me. I will write about them in another blog. I forgot what we were talking about. Oh, vultures. Vultures are disgusting, but not as much as are cats.

Footnote: Sophie is misusing a SmartCat Ultimate Scratching Post that Scruffles and I got from Amazon instead of buying a new refrigerator. It is an awesome scratching post. The cats cannot reach the top of it when stretched out full length from the floor, not even the Maine Coons, which is just double-plus win times awesome to the power of dogs, although seeing how large our Maine Coons really are is frightening.

Other Footnote: It is hoped you are not put off by mention in this blog of actual solid-matter store products that you can buy to enhance your revulsion at having to live with cats because you want to save your marriage. Scruffles and I recommend only junk we have tried on our cats ourselves without suffering cat loss and my sudden dismemberment by Scruffles. We're not saying this stuff is perfect, only that none of our cats have yet gone paws up as a result of purchasing said products. I think that covers us legally. Also, we don't get paid for this, much as we wish we could.

Other Other Footnote: Because of an idiot problem presented by the stupid Internet, I, Bear, must now be known as Scruffles Bear, which is not my real fake name. Just know that any post attributed to "Scruffles Bear" is actually by Bear and no one else.