Midnight: Deranged Squeaky Ninja Tarzan Who Listens To Giant Space Hamsters

myew

Family legend has it that Midnight was found as a tiny kitten wandering down the middle of a two-lane highway in the dark. He was discovered by my wife's relatives, who immediately gave him to my wife-to-be, of whom some say [not me of course] she is as gullible in regard to rescuing cats as the Milky Way Galaxy is wide. My wife immediately took him in [no comment] and gave him his current name and told everyone he was the living reincarnation of her much beloved black cat Smokey, who lived as long as Methuselah before being taken skyward in a flaming chariot drawn by winged monkeys. This Smokey-Midnight reincarnation idea had merit because Smokey was reputed to be as complete a global village idiot as Midnight.

Midnight has many hobbies: drinking out of the toilet, chasing Blizzard, trekking across sleeping humans at 2 a.m., climbing to the top of everything in sight and looking down like a mentally deficient vulture, and of course squeaking. Midnight is a fairly large cat, but his only vocalization is the squeak of a microscopic kitten. It sounds like this: myew. He will myew if, for instance, you thoughtlessly lift him out of the bathtub so you can take a shower even though he still had a lot to do in the bathtub that you would never understand because you are not following the Hallowed Telepathic Bidding of the Giant Space Hamsters from Saturn. Scruffles and I have adopted this tiny cry for those times when we need to complain about annoying circumstances we cannot change, and complaining about it is a total waste of time. Your water heater busts and leaks all over the laundry room, or one of your tires explodes 120 miles from home, and you say:

myew. myew. myew. myew.

We strongly suspect Midnight is a Maine Coon, perhaps mixed with an opossum and some form of amoeba. He looks like a cat, but you never know.