Serendipity: Brainless Hypersonic Needle-Fanged Attention-Seeking Diva in Training

Dip in a second-long moment doing nothing

And now we come to Dip, a.k.a. Serendipity, once prosaically known as Lucky because she escaped shelter euthanasia twice before being picked up by an animal rescue group. Oh, lucky she was to find us, and so disastrous our selection of her was for us. Well, for me, anyway. And I was the one who picked her because Scruffles said I should. I've done dumb things in my life, but this one...

Our wacky, fun-loving little Dipster chews on bare toes, fingers, wadded napkins, loose tissues, valuable handwritten notes, store receipts, coupons, and red dots from laser pointers. She also enjoys excavating decades-old dust bunnies from beneath kitchen appliances and living room furniture; knocking pens, pencils, bottle caps, cell phones, and pill bottles off high countertops; racing through the house like an unguided nuclear missile; and walking over computer keyboards with the result of erasing everything you had just finished typing or even (we have photographs of this) causing the contents of the monitor to completely invert so you had to read it upside down. The real question is not what does she do, but what doesn't she do.

Getting a clear photograph of Dip is difficult thanks to her severe Infinitely Accelerated Feline Hyperactive Disorder. We recently learned, not to our surprise, that Dip was a mutant produced from radioactive spores in a government laboratory on or about April 27, 2012, making her one of the youngest predators in our federally unfunded (we are still trying to get a grant) wildlife nature preserve. She was once a little tiny thing with huge feet, but that was many many many hours ago. She is a (probably pure) Maine Coon and now of course is quite ####ing large... and nowhere near her potential adult size. Should her toe-biting habits escalate, we will likely be denied health insurance, even under Obamacare.