Tachyon: Yowling Insanity-Inducing But Loveable Parasite

I want you! I need you! I've GOT to have you!

And now we come to Tachyon, whom I got to name. I thought "Mister Cat" (HATED that name) would be fast as lighting, hence Tachyon, a theroretical particle that goes faster than light. Tachyon, however, was not faster than light. Once let loose in the house, he could not be found--just like the tachyon in physics. Tachyon hid all the time for days. He (we confirmed it was a he, unlike Sophie Cleese) hid in places we never thought to look. Eventually Tack began making little Elvis-style appearances and proved to be a love sponge who struggled to overcome crippling low self-esteem for the blind and constant adoration he craved. Following Tachyon's Great Dismal Adventure in Scaryland (described later), he was so pleased to be warm and well-fed again he became a flaming extrovert. You couldn't get rid of him with a bucket of holy water and a fifty-pound silver cross.

Tack's favorite thing to do is climb up next to my right ear as I am falling asleep, then yowl like a crazed flesh-eating ghoul for a full five seconds at the top of his quite stupendous lungs. This is how he tells me he wants a back massage. (I thought learning how to give back massages to cats was completely harmless. I bet people who play with radioactive waste think the same thing and get the same results.) He is a sweet little guy, very affectionate, the littlest of our kwats, but he is rapidly becoming the most annoying of all, at least at bedtime. Plus he stalks me. Damn back massages. I should have cut off my fingers.

Tachyon seems to be mostly a Siamese with maybe a little domestic shorthair thown in. I was going to call him Creamsicle but Scruffles nixed that in half a second. Books and TV shows and movies about cats all agree that Siamese cats are "vocal." Such a humorous word. Vocal. I almost peed myself the first time he did that. He also yowls at the front door, possibly because he misses his buddy from the Great Dismal Adventure in Scaryland. Scruffles sometimes reads my mind and she always makes sure I don't accidentally leave the front door open and throw Tachyon out. Rats.