Blizzard: Jealous And Demanding Imperious Diva Starlett Goddess-In-Training Princess

"This is my good side. My other side is also my good side."

Blizzard is also known as Princess, Beautiful Girl, Furball, Oh God It's You Again, Just Leave Me Alone Dammit, and Why Can't You Leave Me Alone For Five Seconds You Little Monster Cause You're Driving Me ####ing Crazy. Sometimes I can't think of her name and simply call her Shut The Hell Up Already.

Blizzard is beautiful in the way that certain venomous jungle snakes are beautiful. She is the cat most likely to sit next to my laptop monitor and glare at me with smoldering eyes, burning with indignation over the fact that I last paid attention to her 20 seconds ago and how dare I ignore her like this, am I some kind of depraved cat hater? Well, yeah, but that's not why I ignore her. I ignore her because she is the most grasping covertous possessive little feline harpy in existence. I cannot so much as pat my wife on the behind without Furball meowing shrilly from the edge of a nearby table, bed, or countertop in a desperate effort to remind us that I am her personal property and my wife (Blizzard's original owner) had better back off. Blizzard has a Jekyl/Hyde aspect that drives me insane, such as when she licks my hand and then bite-OW OW YOU LITTLE @@@@ THAT####ING HURT WHY THE @@@@ DID YOU DO THAT YOU ROTTEN @%@%@%@ [remainder deleted].

We once thought Blizzard was an Angora mix, but we have since been reliably informed by innumerable Idiot's Guide to Cats books, movies, and Internet webpages written by cretins that she is a white Maine Coon, apparently one of four we have, God have mercy on us. She has a greed for male attention equal to a hundred-mile-wide streak of Fatal Attraction multiplied by the monomaniacal jealousy of the goddess Hera, to the power of infinity plus one. Her green eyes are the only warning you will get about her personality. Ironic, that.